Brown-Eyed Good Life

Wedded bliss, wedding pictures

2009-03-08T16:50:00.001-07:00

Well, it's been about 5 weeks since we became The Andersons. Things have been settling down and once this weekend I thought, "This is us. This is what we do," which is way different than, "What the hell are we doing?"

It took a little while to get accustomed to our new life as a married couple. For a few weeks I couldn't figure out "Who is this man in my bed and why won't he go home." I have finally accepted that this is his home, and his snot rags on the floor. Ah yes, the man has had a sinus infection since we said "I do." No worries, he is getting over it and is on some major steroids and antibiotics to boot.

Which brings me to my next point. HE ATE MY BIRTHDAY PRESENT. He might kill me for putting this on here but it really is a funny story and I have, FOR REAL, forgiven him. It's just funny.
So, my birthday was last Monday, March 2nd (Happy Birthday to me!). He was so sweet with roses, a little tiny birthday cake, and some delightful chocolate-covered pineapples from Edible Arrangements. Each flower-shaped cut piece of pineapple was in it's own little paper cup in a box just waiting for me to savor each one. When I came home from work that night we ate a few together and put the box away to enjoy each one at a later time. One must not be gluttonous with one's birthday present. Plus, these aren't cheap and I'd like to enjoy them.

Fast forward to Wednesday. I'm tired and we return from church. I'm already feeling a bit vulnerable and out of control (lack of sleep and hormones I suppose) and he confesses to me that he ate the rest of the pineapple.

Now, this wouldn't seem like a big deal if all you heard was that phrase. Only, because he had taken six steroids that day he was "hungry" and shoved every last bite of those delightfully sweet, flower-cut shaped, dark chocolate dipped, birthday present pineapples.

I cried.

To see some wedding pictures, please go to: www.wearetheparsons.com/sarahanddanny. It was so much fun and we couldn't have asked for more.

Ta-ta for now!

Momentary update...

2009-01-27T12:40:00.000-08:00

Before the parties begin!

Yup, Danny and I are getting married on Saturday...assuming we can make it out of the mess of this Ice Storm that seems to be traveling the same route we are.

All of the preparations have been made (mostly) and we're just ready to start the parties.

We have been blessed with many helpers throughout our friends and family and are so thankful for everyone's hard work.

We cannot wait to celebrate with you all!

Love,
Sarah

P.S. Check back in a few weeks for photos. You can probably also check The Parsons as they will be our photogs for the weekend.

Merry Christmas from the Future Andersons!

2008-12-22T20:32:00.001-08:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

A Little Photo Shoot

2008-12-22T19:16:00.000-08:00

For our wedding, we have the MOST AMAZING photographers ever (The Parsons Photographers, wearetheparsons.blogspot.com). They are a fantastic couple from Kansas City and his sister is in my wedding party; the Great Annie Parsons.

Well, because they're in Kansas City and we're in DFW we are not doing our official "engagement" session until the Thursday before the wedding. Because we wanted some photos of us that weren't self-taken, we had to come up with a solution.

Luckily, we have a good friend, Raissa that has "the eye" for photography and we did a little family picture exchange. She took pictures of Danny and I and I'm taking their family Christmas photo. They have a beautiful baby boy who is the cutest thing ever and I can't wait.

Here are some of the photos from the shoot:

Prom Pose!!

High Chance of Showers

2008-12-07T16:25:00.000-08:00

Being engaged is fun. I mean, first of all, you get to plan a wedding to a man you love and can't wait to spend your life with. Second, you get PRESENTS.

I've never been one to shy away from recieving gifts. Maybe it's my love language, I don't know. Regardless, you get LOTS of presents when you are getting married.

This weekend Danny's People in Houston gave us a shower. It was a great opportunity to meet his people, see his childhood home and least importantly (but still fun), receive gifts. They are so generous and wonderful and we had a fabulous time. Oh, and the food was fantastic as well.

Here are some photos from the day:

I am NEVER sad to receive wine.

The label is in French - must have translation.

Danny looking apprehensive after I "pretended" to stab him with our new knife.

What could it be...Crock Pot, set of dishes, That Wii we registered for?

Answer: A set of our china!!

We got the cutest Christmas tree decorated with kitchen utensils. The "skirt" was our placemats, napkins, and kitchen towels.

Danny hanging with the cutest guests of the party...

And with Mr. "Stovehand." Funny, I thought that was someone we were going to hire to cook for us.

This is us in front of a beautifully decorated Christmas tree. If you would like to believe that it's ours, that's fine with me. This picture would also look nice on a Christmas card. Since we won't be sending them out, consider this a "Merry Christmas from Sarah and Danny."

A Guns N' Roses Thanksgiving

2008-11-28T18:00:00.000-08:00

If you want to know what a Road Trip with the Lindsey's is like, see below:

Hope you had a Rockin' Thanksgiving!

Why?

2008-11-23T22:08:00.000-08:00

Probably because I'm the best fiance in THE WHOLE WORLD.

To get your very own "I Love ______" shirt go here.

Homeward Bound...

2008-11-23T21:11:00.001-08:00

Welp,
Guess I'll give an update.

I'm in Nashville for AN ENTIRE WEEK!

I know, it's crazy. I arrived late Friday night and go back to Texas Saturday. It has been and will continue to be wedding planning-palooza. We're getting to the point where we do little, stupid, (yet somewhat important) details, like flower girl baskets and songs to play at the ceremony and reception.

I held back screams at Michaels (normally my happy place) tonight. It's amazing how in one context (bead-buying), Michaels is one of my favorite places. On the wedding aisle, not so much. How DO you fit so much tacky in one place?

Anyway, I'll post some pictures from the past few weeks:

Danny and I take registering for gifts VERY seriously. Guess what store!

We had a great time at an all day Texas Country concert.
I forgot my good camera that day; otherwise there would have been a FANTASTIC people-watching blog. AMAZING.

Humble? Nope. Can't blame 'em though. I guess since I have been very blessed in Texas I can't argue.

Name that food:

Yes, although it appears to be a delightfully-browned turkey, it is not. This, my friends, is a cake.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

They won't be writing any tributes about me.

2008-11-09T20:52:00.001-08:00

A while back Danny gave me a book titled "Married to a Pastor." It includes tributes to "good" pastor's wives and tips on how to be one. It has been a good resource for me as I'm about to enter Pastor-wife-dom and has inspired me to be a Spiritually Beautiful Woman of Faith.
Having that said, I haven't read much of it. Clearly.

Tonight we had a Bible study with the youth which Danny does every Sunday night. Some nights I am invited to come, especially when another adult can't be there. I enjoy the kids and think of it as another opportunity for spiritual growth for me and time I can spend with Danny.

After tonight, I may not get invited back.

As an "icebreaker" and intro to the study we played "Catch phrase." In this game of speed and on-your-feet thinking we all determined what Sarah, the future wife of Pastor Danny does when she gets stressed. She likes to cuss.

The game piece is handed to me. I pick a word that I realize they don't know as I'm trying to describe it. I decide an appropriate segway word would be....Damnit.

Good one. Very nice.

Code Fat! Code Fat!!!

2008-10-23T09:07:00.000-07:00

Today is the start of my new job and I seem to be having a bit of a "business casual" crisis.
SURELY my clothes have shrunk since I last had a job.

Excitement

2008-10-16T09:11:00.000-07:00

Today is an exciting day. Today is the day that Sarah and Danny register at....drum roll please...
TARGET!!!!!!

So far, we have become accustomed to the registering practices of Macy's, Dillards, and Bed, Bath and Beyond. Those were fun but NOTHING compared to the delight that TARGET will bring.

So, if anyone asks, today, I am at Target, and I'll have a gun. Yippee!!!!

Goodness

2008-10-15T13:53:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been feeling the urge to blog but haven't - for a few reasons. One, I feel guilty blogging with all the other things I need to be doing. Two, I honestly haven't had much to blog about or the inspiration to do so.
That changed this week when I saw the following videos:

First I will share a clip from The Soup. I mean, I Love God but thankfully, not like this:

Also, this video was shared with me by some of our students at church. It's apparently ALL THE RAGE in the high schools and middle schools here.
Meet Charlie the Unicorn:

And for his second adventure:

Kids, this is why you don't do drugs.

This has been a public service announcement by Sarahkate.

Happy Hump Day!

It's official!!! Status Change

2008-08-25T21:53:00.000-07:00

If this were Facebook, the newsfeed would tell you that "Danny Anderson and Sarah Lindsey are engaged." Woo-Hoo!!

It would also show this picture:

Yes Folks, it's true. Danny Anderson and Sarah Lindsey are engaged...and happy to be so.

I know I'm late posting this but it happened a couple weeks ago at my apartment. It involved a portable digital photo frame, a box of ring-pops, one knee and a question...to which I happily responded "Yes!!"

Here are some more photos:

January 31st, here we come!!!

Get a Job!

2008-08-21T08:21:00.000-07:00

Throughout this time that I've been staying at home, "nesting," and basically getting my shizz organized, I've determined something about myself.

I'm going to make a kick-ass Housewife or Stay at Home Mom.

The problem is, as I've been informed by my lovely boyfriend, that I am neither a wife, nor a mom. Therefore, I've decided that I'm going to call myself a kick-ass "House-maiden."

The problem there is that "House-maidens" although fabulous in that they stay at home in their pretty nighties and drink coffee and blog all day, don't make money doing so. And, well, this pretty 2-bedroom, 2 bath apartment/Castle I'm renting somehow costs money to sit around and be fabulous in.

House-maiden needs a job...and a purpose in life.

So, I'm going for my first "Group Interview" today. Prayers Please!!

Big Balls in Cow Town

2008-08-18T09:05:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago when I left Nashville my good friend Annie wrote a blog about my departure.

In this blog, she mentioned that one of the first times she looked at my Myspace, I was wearing a t-shirt that read: "I had a ball at Judge Beans Testicle Festival."

See Proof Here:

The truth is, NEVER had I been to a Testicle festival like the ones I've been attending since I've moved to Texas.

My boyfriend, Danny, lives on a 300 acre ranch in a place called Venus, TX.

This is where the REAL Testicle festival is.

See proof here:

HOLY COW (pun absolutely intended). I had NO idea.

Exclamation Point!!!

2008-08-15T14:03:00.000-07:00

Recently “Aunt Flo” came to visit. Yes, THAT Aunt Flo. You know, from Tampa.

My only-child boyfriend, whose knowledge of “Flo” and all of her baggage she brings when she visits (tampons, moodiness, bloating, etc) is fairly limited. I mean, he gets it but doesn’t necessarily know the “ins and outs” so to speak, of the whole ordeal.

Here are a few excerpts from the days preceding and during “the visit.”

“So, why is it called a period? I mean, wouldn’t exclamation point be a little more accurate?”

At this point, horns grew from my head as it spun around. Actually, he was just kidding and trying to bring light of the fact that I wanted to die a horrific death and bring him with me.

As we were getting ready to go to the pool:
Danny: “So, can you go swimming, when, you know?”
Me: Yes, but NEVER around sharks.

Me: “I’m sorry for being such a b!tch lately. It’s not you, just hormones.
Danny (as he gives me a hug): “I know babe but you’re my b!tch and that’s what’s important.”

This will be one of those weeks when I post 4 times.

2008-08-13T19:40:00.000-07:00

For those of you who haven't totally lost interest...here's a blog.

A short blog but a blog nonetheless.

I just wanted to let you all know that I'm having fun in Texas.

The Lovely lady at the Zaxby's drive through thought my Walrus imitation was HILARIOUS. I will say I have to agree.

Actually, this photo was taken on one of our many moving days. It's almost FINALLY done. It seems like we've been moving FOREVER.

This is what happens when you move for a month straight.

Danny doesn't use straws and I just hate to waste. This is us recycling.

See you soon!

Blogger's Block

2008-08-05T13:11:00.000-07:00

Hi folks,

Sorry for the delay in writing. I know you have all been checking and checking...PLEASE...Just one update Sarah. I can tell. Well, just stop your begging.

I don't know why I haven't blogged. It's not like I have a job or anything. I have plenty of things to blog about; a new home in Texas, going to a new church, painting furniture, reading the former tenants magazines before putting them back in the mail. You know, REALLY interesting stuff here folks. Actually, all day long I write blogs in my head...which never make it to print. Go figure.

So, I'm going to take the pressure off myself and just blog when I want to, because I want to. So, there may be a day when I post 4 times, and then 3 weeks when I don't. Keeping up with my life is crazy enough but I'll try to find time to write about it.

Until then,

SK

2008-07-23T06:37:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone!
I had a harsh realization today when I read my friend Annie's blog that my blog is terribly outdated. I have fabulous excuses...which I will write about...when I can find my underwear again.
As a teaser I'll throw out words like: moving, Indiana, North Carolina, Grandfather Mountain, Sacramento, Wine Country, moving, moving, sweat, bruises, long car rides and MOVING.

Until then...I have to go sign my lease and unpack 12 feet of a tractor trailer. Anyone in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area want to help?

Hasta Pronto,
SKL

NKOTB is back...

2008-06-10T11:21:00.000-07:00

And they're almost 40.

Yet, somehow, still singing about the same stuff.

I have fond memories of birthday party "fashion shows" to the tunes of "Step by Step" and "Hanging Tough." I remember when they came to Jackson, MS and that some friends of mine got to go. I remember the NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK sheets, sleeping bags, shirts, etc.
It's hard to believe they're back, in their late 30's, and still singing about girls in the summer.
I'm sorry but do 40 year olds still get summer? Do they get to lay at the beach with their honey with her body all "soakin' wet?"

Absolutely Bizarre.
Absolutely Amazing.

So, Here's to You, Mrs. Robinson

2008-06-04T22:09:00.000-07:00

Recently, after a long sweaty walk, I was driving out of the lot of the park adjacent to a skate park. There were young boys there, probably ages 13-17, wearing their skinny jeans with their too long hair. They were shirtless and sweaty...and very adolescent.

As I drove by, the boys attention turned away from their friend who has just arrived, to me. I thought nothing of it until I hear; "What up MILF?" (Note, please do not look at the link if you are easily offended. To ease your curiosity, it means Mom, I'd Like [to] F...).

My face turned a shade of red that the running and sun had not given it. Me? A MILF?
But I'm not even a Mom!

My thoughts raced from "He thinks I'm old enough to be a mom!" to "Oh My God!" and "Man, I must be getting older!"

Now, after some thought, I realize that this young boy has no knowledge of my maternal status nor if he'd even have a chance. All he knows is that I'm older than he...and I'm HOT!!!

Paul Simon knew what he was singing about.

Upgrade Me

2008-05-25T11:00:00.000-07:00

The exciting conclusion to "A Girl and Her Diamonds."

Yesterday, you read the first segment of a beautiful story about A Girl (Me) and Her Diamonds. Well, it has been reduced to just the one diamond but that one diamond beats the other 4 diamonds any day. Hands (and neckline) down.

So, for the past year and a half I have sported my 1/4 carat diamond drop necklace. Affectionately, I call it my "Big Girl" diamond. It is MY diamond. No boys have contributed directly and it is a symbol of my independance, growth and to remind me how far I have come. I also consider it an investment.

The jeweler that I work with, despite the cheesy commercials, has been fantastic to work with. This is coming from a skeptic who does not enjoy being hassled. Other than the fact that they do not work on commission so I actually do feel like they have my interests in mind, they have a great Upgrade program. Basically, for the life of my diamond, I can always take it into Shane and they will give me the value of it as long as I spend at least a dollar more on the upgrade.

So, since I've had a helluva year, I decided that a great graduation present to myself would be an upgrade. So, here she is. Meet my latest "Big Girl" diamond. She's .52 carat and I will say looks FANTASTIC on.

Once again Beyonce, You Ain't got nuthin'.

"Mama let me upgrade ya"

Moving on and moving up!

2008-05-24T11:00:00.000-07:00

In November of 2006 I wrote the following snippet. I didn't feel comfortable at the time to post it so I left it saved in a word document never to be seen...until now. Check back tomorrow for the exciting next chapter in a story about a girl...and her diamonds.

November, 2006

Now I’m not one to brag, but I have been blessed with very generous boyfriends who wanted me to have nice things. By nice things, I mean jewelry. Now don’t get carried away, we were young and so I’m quite sure that anyone in the Kennedy family would be less than impressed with my jewels but they were special, they meant something to me at the time, and I fell blessed to have loved and been loved. Having that said, I am currently single which means that those relationships although sweet at the time, alas, did not last.

However, diamonds are forever and although I tried to return them, neither party would hear of it so I kept them. I kept them in my drawer, to come out every now and then for special occasions in order to dress up what I was wearing. Somehow even though I no longer had feelings for either of these boyfriends, the jewelry was just plagued with feelings of the past. Feelings of should-haves and didn’ts and somehow I felt almost as if I were “pledging allegiance” to the past relationships when I wore them. So I stopped. I stopped wearing the diamond three-stone pendant and the diamond “I love you” ring. There they sat, collecting dust, taking up space, not serving any purpose at all whatsoever except to occasionally remind me of the past which is something I try not to dwell on.

So, having lots of things lying around just means that you have to dust those things so I decided to downsize, well, upgrade. I took those pretty little jewels in to the jeweler, determined the value of both, and upgraded. I am now the proud owner of a ¼ carat round cut diamond pendant set in white gold and I love it. No strings attached; well, except for the box-cut chain, and no hard feelings.

Just as those relationships led me to who I am now and developed me as a person, my souvenirs from those relationships allowed me to make a lovely contribution towards a lovely necklace.

Here’s to moving on and moving up!

You make me feel...

2008-05-23T16:04:00.000-07:00

like I've been to the drug store...spa aisle.

Well, the announcement has been made, friends have been warned, and family has been (cautiously) alerted. I am moving to Texas.

Here's the background. I met a boy. His name is Danny and Yes, my love life is bitchin'.

Because of said bitchinness, I have decided to move to Texas with him (as in alongside of him not IN WITH him) to see where it goes, get a job, and hopefully use my Spanish.

Because of said move, I have begun the daunting task of purging. Ahh yes, the pack-rat purges (did you just picture me throwing up?). A couple weeks ago, I found myself buried in the bathroom cabinet throwing out empty bottles, giving away half-empty ones and vowing to use all of the almost gone yet too good to throw away stuff. It's too bad Danny's allergic because for the next few months I am going to smell like JasmineLavenderTeaTreeSweetPeaness from all of the lotions, bath salts, lip goo, hair goo etc. So stock up on the Claritin babe because my skin will be so soft/feet so smooth/hair so healthy/lips so luscious that it will be totally worth it. Plus, I didn't have to waste all of that perfectly good bath stuff (I'm such a cheapskate)

So here I sit after a long Gardenia-induced bath with a scary green mask on my face amidst the Good Will bags and a trillion things to do pretending to relax on my night off. Next stop...the closet.

Hello? 1994? Yes, I think I've found something that belongs to you.

2008-05-05T09:18:00.000-07:00

While talking to my good friend Annie yesterday, I mentioned that recently, someone has come into my life that uses the phrase "Boo-yah."

Now, I know I can have the tendency to say questionable things. However, "Boo-Yah" is not something I want to bring back - to society or my vocabulary.

I told Annie that if I start saying it then she can hit me.

She replied "Yeah, in the A$$; and then I'm gonna say: 'BOO-YAH.'"

Vote For Me!

2008-04-12T14:11:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone,
I have recently submitted a photo to JPG magazine and I think you all should vote for it. In fact, I have recently submitted two. If I get published 1) my name is in a photo magazine, 2) I get $100 and 3) it really helps my self-esteem.

So vote for me. It's for the kids.

Gutter Brain

2008-04-09T09:12:00.000-07:00

This morning on my drive to work I saw a car with the license plate that said: "HCKYFAN"

I immediately thought, "Wow, HICKEY FAN? That's a little personal."

No Sarah, I do believe that this person likes HOCKEY. Yup. HOCKEY FAN.

Life Before Death

2008-04-01T12:31:00.000-07:00

"For weeks, all she’d wanted to do was die. But, she said, “now I’d love to be able to participate in life one last time…”"

“All my efforts were in vain”, she said. “It is as though I am being rejected by life itself"

"I wonder if it’s possible to have a second chance at life? I don’t think so. I’m not afraid of death — I’ll just be one of the million, billion grains of sand in the desert…”

One of my favorite bloggers Dooce blogged about this site today.
These are portraits before and after death. I clicked on the link and sat mesmerized at the poignancy of the thoughts of those in hospice.

It makes me so aware of the reality of death, the importance of living, and the value of faith and hope.

What are your thoughts?

Gwen, I don't think you're ready for this jelly. Holla.

2008-03-29T19:49:00.000-07:00

In an effort to take time for me, get back into the jewelry and de-stress a little I decided to do some organizing, some creating, and some red wine drinking tonight while watching tv. A clip from SNL of Gwen Stefani singing "Hollaback Girl" came on.

I immediately became enthralled by her legs. I mean LOOK at these:

There is no amount or working out that I could ever do that could make my legs look like that.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I have my strong points; I do love my stomach.

Plus, Gwen, you could never hold a candle to THIS:

Pink, Normal, Bitchin

2008-03-28T07:48:00.001-07:00

Exciting happenings today...And it's only 9:45.

1). This morning I woke up with diminished vision in my right eye. Mainly because it was crusted shut.

How is it that an adult gets pink eye? I'm not sure but somehow I have succeeded in that today.

Please control your jealousy.

2). Because I'm not going to work anymore I decided I had time to take an online quiz. This quiz was said to determine if I am smarter than a 5th grader.
If you too would like to see if you are smarter than a 5th grader be my guest. Let me know what you scored.

I scored a 7 out of 10. I have Normal Intelligence.

As it turns out, this test can not only determine my intelligence but can also forecast my upcoming love life.
These were the results: "Your Projected Love Life: Wow! Your love life is bitchin"

That's right. Thanks Danny.

I am not exactly sure how your intelligence determines your love life...if a reduction in one leads to an increase in another or vice versa.

So, all before 10 am this morning I have found out that: I have pinkeye, normal intelligence, and MY LOVE LIFE IS BITCHIN'
Yayuh.

It's probably my addictive personality

2008-03-14T19:52:00.000-07:00

Conversation I had with my client's friend today:

[I was holding the three month old baby.]

Friend to Me: You pregnant?

Me to Friend (smiling, eyebrow cocked as I looked over my glasses): Do I look pregnant?

Friend to me (laughing): Naw. You got kids?

Me to Friend: Nope, not yet.

Friend to me: Well I just thought, I mean, Dat baby take to you like crack.

Ashton, I always knew we'd make beautiful babies.

2008-03-05T22:25:00.000-08:00

In an effort to entertain myself (Ha! like I ever have the opportunity to be bored), I went to MyHeritage.com to find out who are My Celebrity Look-Alikes.

Not being overly excited about the results the first time; I did it thrice. Here are my thoughts on the results.

#1

Barbera Streisand...Really? I mean, her legs are "like butta" but I've never seen a facial resemblance.
Mary-Kate Olsen? Thanks, I look like an elf.
Oh, and what's with the Asian girls? I have frequently been asked if I was Hispanic but Asian? Not sure that I see it.
Oh, and the strangest of all...William Mosely. Either I "lookalike a man" or Billy's a little feminine.
Kelly Hu: I'll take that, she's pretty.

And now for #2:

Kelly Hu, got her again, along with Camilla Belle. Works for me, they're both very pretty.
William Moseley, Yeah, Dude needs to get a new haircut.
Ummmm, Ashton Kutcher? Well, there was a time in my life that I wanted to bear his children. I guess now I know what they'd look like...ME!

And numero 3: The long haired version.

Ok so I guess I was prettier and more exotic-looking with the long hair. I'll take this one.
Got Kelly Hu and Camilla Belle again.
Oh, and Jessica Alba. THAT'S what I was waiting for. She's hot.

It's all about the Benjamins...baby

2008-03-04T09:48:00.000-08:00

I received an email today that allowed me to determine how "rich" I am as compared to the rest of the world. I will admit. I'm pretty fortunate. I sleep in a fantastic bed with nice sheets, take hot showers and sometimes straighten my hair with an $80 hair straightener (which could have bought 3 first aid kits for the country of Haiti). I eat balanced meals and drive my very own car. I even have nice jewelry and a cd collection along with an ipod and laptop. Now, I'm no Bill Gates but I have been extremely blessed.
According to the site, at my former income (when I had one of those job things), which was below $30K (I'm a social worker, ok!), these were the results:

I'm loaded.
It's official.
I'm the 482,298,851 richest person on earth!

How rich are you? >>

I am in the top 8% richest in the world.

Yes, it does really put things into perspective.

So, how rich are YOU?

More importantly, how are you going to use it?

Full

2008-03-02T21:41:00.000-08:00

For the past 2 1/2 hours I have read and responded to more emails, myspace and facebook comments and text messages than I could have wished for.

When I arrived home tonight, I was greeted with a very large chocolate chip cookie with "Happy Birthday Sarah" written in icing on top with icing sunflowers.

Earlier today I spent the day with my family where we ended a relaxing day of napping with a fabulous Salmon dinner with salad, Party Mashed Potatoes, bread with dipping sauce and strawberry shortcake.

Before that, I was at church with some of my favorite people in worship with multiple well-wishes, hugs and "Happy Birthday"s.

This morning I was woken up with text messages and calls from close friends and family. I spent last night with 7 of my close friends eating Uruguayan and Cajun food with fabulous on-the-house desserts including this:

Corie and I

Danny and I

Grant and Danny

I am exhausted and full...of chocolate chip cookies, salmon, strawberries, crawfish etoufee, family, friends, attention, and love.

Thank You All.

Add it to the list...

2008-02-27T15:18:00.000-08:00

We all know what a fantastic dancer I am and I'm always willing to try new things. However, recently I have been made aware of the latest dance craze sweeping the world (It's HUGE in the Philippines) called the Papaya Dance.
You can see it Here:

Let me know when your headache goes away.
Until then, I am going to go ahead and add it to the list of songs that will NOT be played at my wedding reception.
It is as follows:
Electric Slide,
Hokey-Pokey
Chicken Dance (I know I'm German and all but NO WAY)
Macarena
Cha-Cha Slide
and now, Papaya.

Jesus, Teletubbies, and Cheeseburgers

2008-02-27T08:41:00.000-08:00

The other day I heard the term “tinky winky” used in reference to the male reproductive organ. Now, I’m all for discretion but imagine the horror that this child may face when he realizes that what he thinks is his “tinky winky” is not THIS: And vice versa.

I have also heard of the female parts referred to as a “cheeseburger.” Now this to me is one of the more disturbing ones. I mean, a food? Really?

These poor children will grow up unnecessarily confused. It’s just like that time that I was sitting in church, at about 6 years old, wondering why in the world we were talking about Jesus and his tally-wacker when, in fact, I believe the Bible uses the word Tabernacle.

Ifoundyourcamera.net

2008-02-26T19:26:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite websites, Postsecret.com posted a video this week about http://www.ifoundyourcamera.net/.

As someone who has always been a little weird about my stuff, this website really speaks to me. How wonderful would it be to get those memories back that you thought may have been lost?

I was just telling someone yesterday that if I lost all of my photos that I have taken over the years I would have to go to the hospital and possibly for a while.

I encourage you to check out the video and website. Oh, and if you happen to see any pictures that look like me in college at River Stages (a three day concert) that a security guard may or may not have made me throw away, PLEASE let me know. They really need to be in the right hands.

Why You Should Invite Me to Parties...

2008-02-21T21:29:00.000-08:00

Especially the classy ones.

A few weeks ago on a Wednesday my friend Stephen called and asked if I had plans that Saturday night. He managed to get tickets to the Brentwood Gala, a black-tie fancy party to benefit Williamson County Schools. Being a graduate of Williamson County Schools I knew I had to go and support my alma mater.

Ok, so that last sentence is a lie. I went for the free food and booze.

Oh, and I got to wear a fancy dress.

In fact, the only thing I contributed the entire night was some pretty sweet dance moves on the dance floor. To say that was minimal is an extreme understatement. Read it again, you'll get it.

Actually, about mid-way through dinner I realized why Stephen chose me to go with him. When I presented my hypothesis he couldn't deny the fact that: He only brought me there for my rhythm, crass humor and love for free wine.

I think he got his free ticket's worth.

So, thanks to the beauty of digital cameras you can see for yourself how the evening went.

We started out all classy-like.

As you can see, Stephen is growing out his beard for Whiskerino.

After the dinner and auction the party moved to the dance floor.

Where the classiness ended. Abruptly. Sometime after this:

Don't worry, I still got some R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

The party face came...

So did the lady with the red feather boa AND the lady with HUGE flowers on her shoulders.

Thankfully the lady with the boa shared...

Da Booty came.

And I was thankful I shaved my armpits.

There was a little Line-dancin'

And a lot of Shoutin' going on.

A new dance move was introduced...
Window Shopping.

We want YOU on the dance floor.

The night ended a little something like this:

But not without the party favors!

Thanks for the fun party, Stephen!

Added Bonus

2008-02-21T21:01:00.000-08:00

So, I guess an added bonus to blogging about mullets (other than the awesome fact that I blog about mullets) is that on my google ad (which I'm not supposed to talk about), you now have the option to buy a mullet wig.

Now, to make the feed a bit more interesting: boobs, poop, rednecks, Big Trucks, Lite Beer, toe fungus, dead roses, itching, burning, chafing, flat tires, J-Lo's twins, bad coffee, good coffee and bad parents.

Love,
Me.

Into the Great Wide Open

2008-02-15T06:37:00.000-08:00

This weekend I will venture off into the great unknown that is, a youth retreat at Land Between the Lakes in Kentucky. I will be out of cell phone range and there will be no wireless. What am I supposed to DO for 3 days?

Actually, I've been on this youth retreat probably 6 times; a few as a youth myself and a few as a chaperone (I know, it's like the bad kids becoming cops). The reality is that after having gone on this retreat so many times, I have never really had a good experience there. The reasons have varied from lame speakers to cheesy music to bringing a boyfriend with me (HELLO DISASTER!!!) to my ex telling me he was engaged...less than a year after we were engaged...while we were both singing in the praise band...on the retreat. HELLO HELL.

When our youth leader asked me to come this year I told her I'd have to think about it. I mean, practically speaking, trying the same things over and over again usually doesn't yield different results, right? What makes me think this year will be different?

I finally said yes but only after hearing which kids will be there. My heart is with adolescent girls and there are a few that I am really looking forward to hanging out with this weekend. So God, that's how you got me there. The big question is How are you going to use me?

So here I go, off into the great unknown. Hanging out in the woods with a little praise music (which I know will be good), (hopefully) a good speaker and some really great kids.

Now, if I could just avoid getting a speeding ticket like that one year...

Thank You Local News

2008-02-05T14:16:00.000-08:00

My favoritest blogger Dooce linked to this today and because I laughed out loud, by myself in my room I wanted to share this video.
I present to you:
Weiner Poopie

I've got moves you aint neva seen!

2008-02-04T08:49:00.001-08:00

In looking through Christmas photos last night I re-discovered a video that my sister took over the break.

This is why you should invite me to parties:

Editor's Note: I do not know how to edit. Therefore the video is a little longer than I would really like for it to be. So, unless some generous soul wants to teach me how to edit videos, the last part of this one will forever be included.

Mom-isms

2008-01-29T21:17:00.000-08:00

I love my Mother. She's beautiful, funny, fun to be around, and I find myself evolving into a version of her more and more each year.

This is a fact that I am overall very happy with. I look like her, I act like her, and my siblings will tell you that I am a "second mom" to them...whether they like it or not.

I got her smile, her hips, her love for wine and even her singing voice. Of all of this, I am very happy with. Well, you can have the hips but I'll take the rest.

One thing my mother does is confuse her Proper Nouns. For years she has done this and for years we have harassed her for this. Her latest is confusing the popular networking sites and calling them "Myface" and "Spacebook" rather than "MySpace" and "Facebook."

A few months ago I mentioned that I had a crush on a certain boy and was spending time with him. To this my Mom replies: "So, are you and ____ (pause) getting cozy?"

"Getting COZY? WHAT???" I said. Even she thought that one was a little off.

In case you're curious, No, me and ____ were NOT getting "cozy." Whatever that means.

So, I guess Karma's getting back at me because these days as I talk to my sister or my clients (who are all way more into pop culture than I) I find myself asking them about the latest slang and/or rap dance moves. To which they laugh and give me the look that I am oh so familiar with from giving it to my own mother. It's the "Are you seriously asking me this?" and "She is soooo clueless" to which I reply much like my own mother that "I don't really care what ya'll think; just tell me what it means. "

So, I'll raise my glass of wine to you, mom and don't worry, I'm not going to post this on MyFace.

Mom, Elizabeth, Dad

Photo-Grapher

2008-01-26T19:59:00.000-08:00

As you may or may not know, photography is one of my hobbies. I have always taken lots of photos but have only in the past few years attempted at making an art of it...complete with a photography class and a fancy digital camera.

When I am really on top of pursuing this particular hobby, I post photos on www.flickr.com. You can see some of them to the right AND if you click on it, you can see ALL of them. That's right folks, ALL of the Sarah Lindsey Photos that I choose to post for the internet to view.

Recently I received an email that THIS photo was selected on a short list of photos for a tourism site for New Orleans. St. Louis Cathedral

I was absolutely thrilled and agreed to have my photo used.

Today I received another email stating that yes, my photo had been chosen for Schmapp’s New Orleans site WITH my name on it. Yes folks, I’m published.

You can see the photo Here on the Schmapp website.

Another exciting addition to my photographic world is the arrival of: (Cue: Stevie Wonder’s “Isn’t She Lovely”)

Cleo the Canon

I introduce you to my brand new Canon Rebel EOS Digital Rebel XTi. I have faith that she will accompany me on many new adventures capturing them to the best of her abilities as a fancy schmancy pretty camera. (I mean, do you SEE that screen on the back?!?!) She’s amazing!

Unfortunately, because they don’t charge the batteries before they send them to you, she is currently charging and not able to perform as she was made to at this time. I assure you that as soon as she’s ready a new photo shoot will be posted ASAP.

Thanks to all of you that gave me Christmas money. Cleo and I will be very happy together.

As for Olympus, she will still remain a part of my life, she is just going into retirement…still up for the party occasionally but she’ll be mostly resting. She and I have had a good four year run.

So, out with the old, on with the FABULOUS!!! Keep checking for new Cleo photos. She'll be sure to impress.

Because every creature deserves the right to be GLAMOROUS

2008-01-22T11:48:00.001-08:00

I occasionally receive email updates from Subversive Cross Stitch which sells kits to make inappropriate cross stitch patterns such as:

I would highly DIScourage you from visiting this site if you are easily offended...or hate the "F" word.

In this week's email they included a link for THIS FABULOUS SITE where you can purchase no less than Wigs for your kitties.

I personally enjoy "Pink Passion" as seen here:

"Pink makes your kitty feel elegant, modern and quintessentially feline."

Of course, if colors aren't your thing, you can always go with "Bashful Blonde:"

"Blonde sets off your kitty’s eyes and makes your kitty look tan."

Because the model in the blonde wig strikingly resembles Herkey, the cat I live with, I am considering a purchase.

Because, "If you have any creature in the house with a head bigger than a walnut(including boyfriends), you need a Kitty Wig™."- Carolyn Sortor

When in Doubt, Ask an Expert

2008-01-21T21:43:00.000-08:00

I just got off the phone with my good friend Grant. He called me for advice on a subject in which he just knew I am an expert. Expecting him to ask me about women, dating or fashion, I was all ears, ready to give my expertise advice.
He said that he recently saw something and he just knew that I would be able to identify it because of my extensive knowledge of the subject…mullets.

Yes folks, I am a master of mullets. This knowledge comes not from ever having one or living with anyone who had one (Thanks Dad and Charles) but because of my extensive “mullet watching” hours and various visited websites on the subject.

I have even taken part in the creation of a mullet:

So, as Grant began to explain the logistics of this horrendous ‘do, I knew he had come to the right place. This particular hair-raising hair-do consisted of a bald head with a small, 2-3 in wisp of hair at the base of the hairline. Because the back part is in fact longer than what’s on top, we declared it was, in fact, a mullet. Yes folks, there was definitely a business to party ratio going on.

Because I have never seen this type of mullet before, I was not sure of a name for it. No, it was not a “Kentucky Waterfall” and probably had nothing to do with a Camaro so we affectionally named it a “West Virginia WTF.” I also suggested “neck-warmer” This name, of course, is up for debate and can be changed as we get more suggestions.

Dear Metro Nashville Police Department,

2008-01-12T11:39:00.000-08:00

Please leave me alone.

I understand your concern about my driving habits. I realize that it is harder to stop when one is driving fast or above the speed limit. I understand the dangers and hazards of multitasking at the wheel. In fact, just last week I finished driving school online. I am familiar with all of the rules, regulations and high standards that a driver in these United States is expected to follow.

However, do you have ANY idea how much time I save every year by speeding? How much more I can get done in a day?

I am merely trying to save the world and slowing my car means slowing that process and really, what's more important here?

So here's my plea: All I'm asking is for a blind eye, a turned head, a disabled radar. I assure you there are worse crimes being committed. You too can do your part in saving the world oh great Police Department. Just think of the lives that can be saved; robberies that could be prevented and murderers stopped dead in their tracks. Just think of all the good YOU could do.

So, when you see me in my black Honda Civic please don't interrupt me. Saving the world is a full time job.

Thank You,
Sarah

Dear Santa Claus...

2007-11-26T15:44:00.000-08:00

I think I may need a GPS.

For many years I have considered myself to be fairly geographically inclined. I can usually find my way around and know more or less where I have come from and where I need to go. So, I ask, how is it that I made it to Goodlettsville TWICE today without trying?

Goodlettsville is a suburb of Nashville to the North and while trying to travel from North Nashville to East Nashville, somehow I ended up in another county. TWICE.

I have lived in the Nashville area for 13 years and can make it from Franklin to Nashville on I-65 with my eyes closed. Well, at least I think I could, I've never really tried. However, the second I veer off of 65 onto 40, 440, or 24 I have no idea what's going on. In fact, for a few years while in college, I would have to call my good friend Sara (who had lived in Nashville for considerably less time) and ask her how to get to the airport. And yes, I had to call her EVERY time.

This is not something I understand. I have always thought I knew what was going on regarding directions and arriving to point B from point A but at some point that information left me...Probably with the part of my brain that remembers names...but I digress.

So, here is my Grown up Christmas List:
A GPS - so I can successfully drive to my clients' houses

And, well, while we're at it, I'd like a new camera, clothes, Money, maintenance on my car, a massage, and a new pair of brown boots.
Sincerely,
Sarah Katherine Lindsey
P.S. I'm ALWAYS good.

Archive #7 - Baby Got Back

2007-11-19T15:20:00.000-08:00

One of my favorites:
Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Workin it

It's no surprise that I was "blessed" with a larger backside than some other white girls. I've always had it, always will and unless it gets to the point where I have to order an additional plane ticket to ride comfortably, I'm ok with it.

It is also no surprise that men (and women apparently) of some ethnic groups (hell, "even white boys got to shout") are particularly fond of a girl who's "got a motor in the back of her Honda."

Ever since I "became a woman" I have endured comments from men about the booty. Once when walking back to our ghetto hotel in New Orleans, a man screamed down the street "Dayum! You got a booty like a black girl!" Thanks.

Having that said, the following is what I had the pleasure of experiencing today:

For my internship I go to client's homes in predominantly African American neighborhoods mostly comprised of government-owned housing. Today I went to see a client. She was not home. On my way back to my car I walked by quite a few of the residents. They were men, women, babies, teenagers, etc. On the opposite side of the street was a woman walking and carrying her small baby. I hear:

"Work it girl!"

I ignore it. Surely no one is yelling at me. I look around.

"Work it girl!"

"What?"

"Work it girl!"

It's clear she's talking to me, now. I laugh.

"It's been a while since I seen a booty like dat on a white girl!"

I laugh again

"You work it girl, work it, work it, work it."

So I get back into my Honda, promptly turn off my workout tapes by Fonda and dial 1-900-MIX-A-LOT. Baby got back.

Archives #6 - New Shoes, New Shoes on my Feet

2007-11-19T15:13:00.000-08:00

Sunday, July 29, 2007
New Shoes, New Shoes on my feet
I'm a shoe girl. Nope, haven't always been a shoe girl but for the past few years my love has grown...and grown. I have red shoes, orange shoes, green shoes tall shoes, flat shoes, shoes with zippers, buckles, peep toes and laces. There's even a pair of leopard print pumps in there (thanks Annie) and no, I have not had the guts to wear them yet.
Taking that into account, probably my favorite pair of shoes at this very moment are these:

No, it's not the stark white exterior (although I am a fan of the "lightning/kiwi/navy" color combo), it's what's inside that counts.
There's just something about new running shoes that make me, the never-meant-to-be-an-athlete type, feel like I could run a marathon. Right now.
I never quite knew what that felt like until last year when I finally broke down and went to Fleet Feet to get "fitted" for running shoes that actually fit me and are good for what I use them for and won't make me feel arthritic after a half a mile stroll down my street. So, I went in, got fitted, spent my $90 and immediately went home with extreme buyers remorse. $90? on shoes? Yeah, not something this girl on a budget does, needs to do, or can do for that matter. I promptly found them online for $30 cheaper and returned the expensive pair to the store, tail between my legs, embarrased and guilty that they spent time fitting me and I didn't buy from them.
The truth is, I have a guilty conscience and feel guilty about almost everything so it wore off pretty quick when I put those babies on my out-of-shape feet.
I began to run down my street and actually noticed the lack of back pain, knee pain and hip pain. No sir, these new Asics weren't my former New Balances from the sale rack. These had, what's the word.....support! I ran my entire trek around my neighborhood and wanted to run more. I began to think crazy thoughts of training for the marathon and buying a new sports bra. I was a runner! A real live runner!
For those of you that know my "athletic" history, you will know that it is short and uneventful. I used to whine and get out of P.E. I would always get this cramp in my foot that made it feel "like it was going to rip in half" and so I would get out of any long distance walk or run that I could. I didn't run my first mile till I was 19. For me to feel like a "runner" is absurd.
All that to say, the first pair of real live running shoes have since lost all means of support and have been reduced to mowing(ha! I don't mow)/camping/OLD shoes. I found a new pair of the same model, new year shoes (also for $30 cheaper, I might add) and received them in the mail this week. Tonight was the first night I was able to put them on and I promptly ran 3 miles...with a Golden Retriever for 1 1/2. I had energy, stamina and my legs feel great.
Now, I'm not going to go crazy and actually consider the marathon (I have what, 9 months, to think about it?) but I just might go for that new sports bra.

Archives #5 - TMI

2007-11-19T15:04:00.000-08:00

This is from my days working as a Social Worker in a Medical Clinic.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

TMI Current mood: Ewwww
Working in a medical clinic has it's perks...like free Advil and medical advice. However, working in a medical clinic means that people automatically think you know what to tell them about their problem...or that you care. Granted, if I had been to any amount of medical school then I would possibly be qualified to tell someone how much medicine to take or what to do about that growth but I have not even set foot in a school where they teach you that kind of stuff. I'm a social worker. I don't even know what to do about the cold I've had for 4 days.
My absolute favorite is when people decide that I need to know about their weird growth or sexual dysfunction. Yeah, I don't want to know nor do I need to know....not for your benefit OR MINE. Yesterday I had a patient/volunteer tell me about his erectile dysfunction as if I could do anything about it. Another time a patient told me that "She has just lost all Sex-ual desire."
These are things that the average human being does not need to know about you. In fact, the only time I can think that I would need to know that is if we had shared wedding vows and a bed.
So, take 2 Advil, call me in the morning, and hold the details.

Archives #4 - Goodbye my Sweet Aunt Dorothy

2007-11-19T14:54:00.000-08:00

Monday, December 11, 2006

Goodbye my Sweet Aunt Dorothy

This weekend I traveled unexpectedly to my Great Aunt Dorothy's funeral. It was a wonderful celebration of her life and a good time to be with family. She was a beauty queen, Methodist Sunday school teacher, cattle farmer, mother of 2, Grandmother of 4, artist, flower arranger, and gardener.
I learned a lot about her this weekend. She was a perfectionist who always believed in doing your best and looking your best. She gardened in pearls and high heels. She painted beautiful paintings that she would never give to us or give and take back because she didn't like one part of it. A few years ago I fought her for a pastel drawing she did of me when I was young. It was very well done but she didn't like the nose so she refused to give it to me. I eventually told her that she had no choice and that it was going home with me. I think I got some of my strong will from her as well.
Aunt Dorothy was the first woman in her town to buy blue jeans but only because she needed them for working with her cattle. She despised jeans and to this day I'm not sure that she's seen me wear them more than once. She was very focused on looks and weight and keeping slim. One must "neva let yourself go." In order to leave the house it was a few hours ordeal because you couldn't possibly leave the house without a full face of makeup on, pearls and high heels. Like I said, the woman GARDENED, as in WORKED IN HER YARD in heels and pearls. What a woman.
This weekend I became painfully aware of where I received my perfectionism from. At this time I want to thank my Great-Grandmother Ada for raising her two daughters, my Grandmother and Great-Aunt, to believe that you have to be perfect. I don't even know where I'd be if I didn't have such a high standard to live up to. Wait, I see it, it's me in blue jeans at the grocery store with NO lipstick on. AHHHHHH!!!!!!! Actually, I'd do really good to be at the grocery with blue jeans AND lipstick on. People might think I'm going to a party.
I am confident that Aunt Dorothy is up in heaven giving the other angels a run for their money. I'm sure for her new body she picked out the one she had when she was a beauty queen. She was gorgeous and she HATED being old. She's probably eating bags of potato chips because she can and there's no way you can get fat in heaven. She's probably painting beautiful paintings with the nose just right and enjoying time with her husband, Uncle Brister.
Rest in Peace, Sweet Aunt Dorothy. We love you and miss you.

Archives #3 - Yay! I saved for college at...

2007-11-19T14:50:00.001-08:00

Monday, July 24, 2006
Yay! I saved for college at...
Current mood: Apparently drunk

I am enrolled in a program called Upromise which allows me to "Save for college with my every day purchases!" Since I have graduated college I am no longer saving for it but paying it back, penny by penny. This program is good in theory but apparently I don't shop at the right places because every time I get one of those monthly statements it ALWAYS says that I have saved $0 for college and I should spend more money at their sponsored stores. Honestly, that's way too much work for me and I'd rather just spend money where I usually spend money and see what happens.
Out of all of the emails I have received from them I have only received two that say that I have actually saved for college. They come in bright lettering and lots of exclamation points to say: CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE SAVED FOR COLLEGE AT... The anticipation nearly kills me as I open the email to see what kind of purchase I made that contributed to saving for college. Was it Kroger? Target? Was it because I bought a book that will better my life?
Oh no, the two that I have received have not been from Kroger or Target or some intellectual bookstore but McCreary's Irish Pub and Jackson's Bar and Bistro. Apparently my drinking is really helping me out on those college savings...All $2.20 of it.

Archives #2 - C-I-V-I-C spells Defeat

2007-11-19T14:42:00.000-08:00

This expresses my love for FREE STUFF
Original post: Wednesday, May 10, 2006
C-I-V-I-C spells DEFEAT
Current mood: defeated

If you know me well, you know that I LOVE FREE STUFF. Therefore, it only fits that I am a HUGE fan of Dumpster Diving. Every year around graduation time I stalk the parking lots of college apartment complexes and dorms to see what kinds of goodies I can find. The year I graduated I found a futon frame, a microwave, a desk, a desk chair, an over-the-door shoe rack, and tv trays all at the same dumpster. Some poor guy couldn't fit it in his car to take home so therefore it became mine, all mine, for FREE.
This year was the same, driving around Belmont and Vanderbilt's parking lots looking for something that would fit nicely in my new house. There was little left because it was evening and not everyone has moved out yet but I did find a desk at a dumpster at Belmont. I need a desk and have needed a desk for a few months now but was waiting for such a momentus occasion as graduation/move out time to score one for free. That's just how I do it.
So last night after my sister's middle school choir concert I decided to make the rounds at Belmont. I found this desk, eyeballed it and decided that yes, this desk will be mine and I will take it home with me tonight. So, I got out of my car and emptied my back seat. My trunk is full of old clothes that I am trying to get rid of and just haven't yet so that wasn't an option. So, I think I have pretty good spatial judgement and so I pick up the desk (first time not so heavy, times thereafter heavier and heavier) and proceed to put it in my backseat. It barely fits but I can budge it...just not far enough. I walk it around to the other side of the car to try the other way. Still no budging. Soooo, determined not to be defeated, I emptied my trunk into my back seat and after strategically arranging it, I lifted it up...AND, it's TOO WIDE.
After many attempts and even calling a friend with an SUV, I determined that a Honda Civic is not an appropriate vehicle for furniture hunting. As of now, the desk has been sitting in the pouring rain overnight and is probably no good anymore which totally bumms me out.
It was a perfectly good desk, on a perfectly rain-free night with a not-so-perfect mode of transportation.

Archives #1 - Things that Make you Say F.%@ or The Day I Flooded the Caldwell's House...Twice

2007-11-19T14:39:00.000-08:00

This Blog was originally written on Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Things That Make You Say F.%@, or The Day I Flooded the Caldwell's House...Twice.

For those of you that know me well know that I do not like the "F" word. I don't like to say it (nor do I on a regular basis) nor do I particularly care to be around people that use it in their daily vocabulary. This really goes for any "cuss words" when it comes down to it. I am a firm believer though that if you are going to use such words let there be a purpose for it and let it be loud!
I believe that this past Sunday I had every reason to use whatever word or words that I wanted to and I had every right to scream them loud enough for neighbors to hear.
This past Sunday I flooded the Caldwell's playroom, not once but TWO TIMES. I said lots and lots of really ugly horrible words and I actually REALLY enjoyed it. Thank GOD it was Communion Sunday, I had a lot to ask forgiveness for.
It started out like the past 4 Sundays that I have been at the Caldwell's house. I woke up, stripped the sheets to wash, started the coffee maker and went down to throw the sheets in the wash and shower. I threw the sheets in the washer and started it but decided that no, I was going to wait until after my shower to wash sheets and I'd throw the towels in too. I turned the washer off. So I showered, threw in my towels and started the wash AS I WOULD ANY OTHER DAY.
I went upstairs to get ready, hair dried, makeup and all. I picked up my purse, suitcase and keys and proceeded to walk downstairs to go to church. I was on time (which is rare) and I was ready to go to church to sing at the early service (my first time). I entered into the playroom which has the door to get out, my phone rang (it was my parents, making sure I was up), and as I was answering it, I stepped into a half inch of water. Oh yes folks, a half inch of water that covered a good 10 feet out and 15 feet wide of the wood floor playroom that has lots of books on the floor as well as an area rug and moving boxes filled with things like books and photo albums. F&&&&&&$$$$$$$$$@@@@@@@@!!!!!!!!!!!!
It started with "Damnit, Damnit, Damnit" then went to "SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT" then further to the word of the day. Yup, the "F" one. The floodgates opened and much like the overflowing washing machine the "effing" river flowed.
Thankfully it was my parents who called and I could immediately freak out on the phone (minus the horrible words) and tell my dad to come with the shop vac and NOW.
So my hero, my father came, shop vac in hand to assist his freaking out daughter who had flooded a home that 1). Was not hers, 2). will soon be on the market to sell, 3). belongs to a family who is traveling from their SECOND funeral in a week and has had a HELLUVA YEAR, and 4). has had a contracter working downstairs to repair the garage celing (which I decided to send water flowing through the light fixtures of).
The rest of the story is just boring details about vacuuming up water and setting out paper to dry and mopping and cleaning and saying more dirty words but all the while finishing the job (in my church clothes, mind you) and making it to church on time.
I came back after church to make sure everything was ok and to try to run the laundry to see if it was me or the washer. Turns out it the washer was to blame and the shop vac had to make a repeat performance but this time wasn't nearly as bad because the floor was clear and we already knew exactly what to do to fix it.
Everything ended up ok and as it turned out, my dad noticed a potentially dangerous plumbing problem so in the end I actually SAVED them tons of money and problems by catching it before their whole house flooded.
All's well that ends well...F$%@ (For old times' sake)

Big-Girl Blogger

2007-11-19T14:19:00.000-08:00

My good friend Annie (http://hootenannieparsons.blogspot.com/) inspired me to have my very own Big-Girl blog. So, I have decided to transfer my myspace blog to this site. My first few posts will be from the archives of my former blog.