Archives #1 - Things that Make you Say F.%@ or The Day I Flooded the Caldwell's House...Twice

This Blog was originally written on Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Things That Make You Say F.%@, or The Day I Flooded the Caldwell's House...Twice.

For those of you that know me well know that I do not like the "F" word. I don't like to say it (nor do I on a regular basis) nor do I particularly care to be around people that use it in their daily vocabulary. This really goes for any "cuss words" when it comes down to it. I am a firm believer though that if you are going to use such words let there be a purpose for it and let it be loud!
I believe that this past Sunday I had every reason to use whatever word or words that I wanted to and I had every right to scream them loud enough for neighbors to hear.
This past Sunday I flooded the Caldwell's playroom, not once but TWO TIMES. I said lots and lots of really ugly horrible words and I actually REALLY enjoyed it. Thank GOD it was Communion Sunday, I had a lot to ask forgiveness for.
It started out like the past 4 Sundays that I have been at the Caldwell's house. I woke up, stripped the sheets to wash, started the coffee maker and went down to throw the sheets in the wash and shower. I threw the sheets in the washer and started it but decided that no, I was going to wait until after my shower to wash sheets and I'd throw the towels in too. I turned the washer off. So I showered, threw in my towels and started the wash AS I WOULD ANY OTHER DAY.
I went upstairs to get ready, hair dried, makeup and all. I picked up my purse, suitcase and keys and proceeded to walk downstairs to go to church. I was on time (which is rare) and I was ready to go to church to sing at the early service (my first time). I entered into the playroom which has the door to get out, my phone rang (it was my parents, making sure I was up), and as I was answering it, I stepped into a half inch of water. Oh yes folks, a half inch of water that covered a good 10 feet out and 15 feet wide of the wood floor playroom that has lots of books on the floor as well as an area rug and moving boxes filled with things like books and photo albums. F&&&&&&$$$$$$$$$@@@@@@@@!!!!!!!!!!!!
It started with "Damnit, Damnit, Damnit" then went to "SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT" then further to the word of the day. Yup, the "F" one. The floodgates opened and much like the overflowing washing machine the "effing" river flowed.
Thankfully it was my parents who called and I could immediately freak out on the phone (minus the horrible words) and tell my dad to come with the shop vac and NOW.
So my hero, my father came, shop vac in hand to assist his freaking out daughter who had flooded a home that 1). Was not hers, 2). will soon be on the market to sell, 3). belongs to a family who is traveling from their SECOND funeral in a week and has had a HELLUVA YEAR, and 4). has had a contracter working downstairs to repair the garage celing (which I decided to send water flowing through the light fixtures of).
The rest of the story is just boring details about vacuuming up water and setting out paper to dry and mopping and cleaning and saying more dirty words but all the while finishing the job (in my church clothes, mind you) and making it to church on time.
I came back after church to make sure everything was ok and to try to run the laundry to see if it was me or the washer. Turns out it the washer was to blame and the shop vac had to make a repeat performance but this time wasn't nearly as bad because the floor was clear and we already knew exactly what to do to fix it.
Everything ended up ok and as it turned out, my dad noticed a potentially dangerous plumbing problem so in the end I actually SAVED them tons of money and problems by catching it before their whole house flooded.
All's well that ends well...F$%@ (For old times' sake)