Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Add it to the list...

We all know what a fantastic dancer I am and I'm always willing to try new things. However, recently I have been made aware of the latest dance craze sweeping the world (It's HUGE in the Philippines) called the Papaya Dance.
You can see it Here:

Let me know when your headache goes away.
Until then, I am going to go ahead and add it to the list of songs that will NOT be played at my wedding reception.
It is as follows:
Electric Slide,
Chicken Dance (I know I'm German and all but NO WAY)
Cha-Cha Slide
and now, Papaya.

Jesus, Teletubbies, and Cheeseburgers

The other day I heard the term “tinky winky” used in reference to the male reproductive organ. Now, I’m all for discretion but imagine the horror that this child may face when he realizes that what he thinks is his “tinky winky” is not THIS: And vice versa.

I have also heard of the female parts referred to as a “cheeseburger.” Now this to me is one of the more disturbing ones. I mean, a food? Really?

These poor children will grow up unnecessarily confused. It’s just like that time that I was sitting in church, at about 6 years old, wondering why in the world we were talking about Jesus and his tally-wacker when, in fact, I believe the Bible uses the word Tabernacle.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

One of my favorite websites, posted a video this week about

As someone who has always been a little weird about my stuff, this website really speaks to me. How wonderful would it be to get those memories back that you thought may have been lost?

I was just telling someone yesterday that if I lost all of my photos that I have taken over the years I would have to go to the hospital and possibly for a while.

I encourage you to check out the video and website. Oh, and if you happen to see any pictures that look like me in college at River Stages (a three day concert) that a security guard may or may not have made me throw away, PLEASE let me know. They really need to be in the right hands.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Why You Should Invite Me to Parties...

Especially the classy ones.

A few weeks ago on a Wednesday my friend Stephen called and asked if I had plans that Saturday night. He managed to get tickets to the Brentwood Gala, a black-tie fancy party to benefit Williamson County Schools. Being a graduate of Williamson County Schools I knew I had to go and support my alma mater.

Ok, so that last sentence is a lie. I went for the free food and booze.
Oh, and I got to wear a fancy dress.
In fact, the only thing I contributed the entire night was some pretty sweet dance moves on the dance floor. To say that was minimal is an extreme understatement. Read it again, you'll get it.

Actually, about mid-way through dinner I realized why Stephen chose me to go with him. When I presented my hypothesis he couldn't deny the fact that: He only brought me there for my rhythm, crass humor and love for free wine.

I think he got his free ticket's worth.
So, thanks to the beauty of digital cameras you can see for yourself how the evening went.

We started out all classy-like.

As you can see, Stephen is growing out his beard for Whiskerino.

After the dinner and auction the party moved to the dance floor.
Where the classiness ended. Abruptly. Sometime after this:
Don't worry, I still got some R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

The party face came...

So did the lady with the red feather boa AND the lady with HUGE flowers on her shoulders.

Thankfully the lady with the boa shared...

Da Booty came.

And I was thankful I shaved my armpits.

There was a little Line-dancin'

And a lot of Shoutin' going on.

A new dance move was introduced...
Window Shopping.

We want YOU on the dance floor.

The night ended a little something like this:

But not without the party favors!

Thanks for the fun party, Stephen!

Added Bonus

So, I guess an added bonus to blogging about mullets (other than the awesome fact that I blog about mullets) is that on my google ad (which I'm not supposed to talk about), you now have the option to buy a mullet wig.

Now, to make the feed a bit more interesting: boobs, poop, rednecks, Big Trucks, Lite Beer, toe fungus, dead roses, itching, burning, chafing, flat tires, J-Lo's twins, bad coffee, good coffee and bad parents.


Friday, February 15, 2008

Into the Great Wide Open

This weekend I will venture off into the great unknown that is, a youth retreat at Land Between the Lakes in Kentucky. I will be out of cell phone range and there will be no wireless. What am I supposed to DO for 3 days?

Actually, I've been on this youth retreat probably 6 times; a few as a youth myself and a few as a chaperone (I know, it's like the bad kids becoming cops). The reality is that after having gone on this retreat so many times, I have never really had a good experience there. The reasons have varied from lame speakers to cheesy music to bringing a boyfriend with me (HELLO DISASTER!!!) to my ex telling me he was engaged...less than a year after we were engaged...while we were both singing in the praise band...on the retreat. HELLO HELL.

When our youth leader asked me to come this year I told her I'd have to think about it. I mean, practically speaking, trying the same things over and over again usually doesn't yield different results, right? What makes me think this year will be different?

I finally said yes but only after hearing which kids will be there. My heart is with adolescent girls and there are a few that I am really looking forward to hanging out with this weekend. So God, that's how you got me there. The big question is How are you going to use me?

So here I go, off into the great unknown. Hanging out in the woods with a little praise music (which I know will be good), (hopefully) a good speaker and some really great kids.

Now, if I could just avoid getting a speeding ticket like that one year...

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Thank You Local News

My favoritest blogger Dooce linked to this today and because I laughed out loud, by myself in my room I wanted to share this video.
I present to you:
Weiner Poopie

Monday, February 4, 2008

I've got moves you aint neva seen!

In looking through Christmas photos last night I re-discovered a video that my sister took over the break.

This is why you should invite me to parties:

Editor's Note: I do not know how to edit. Therefore the video is a little longer than I would really like for it to be. So, unless some generous soul wants to teach me how to edit videos, the last part of this one will forever be included.